“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” #FriedrichNietzsche
Oh my gosh you guys! I am blown away that I’m making this Thank You video already!!! I cannot express what your support has meant to me. I often stumble and bumble, I learn things the hard way but you guys make it all worth it.
Show us your guns!!! 2:44
What are you listening to? 3:35
Upcoming submission plans? 4:45
Dominant or submissive? 8:21
What are some of the things that drive your senses? 9:45
Your voice is so sexy…would you consider doing ASMR? 17:45
Your clavicle doesn’t look that dramatic. 20:12
Where will you take your stuff on YouTube? / Picking a YouTuber name. 21:46
Quick shout out / 1st YouTuber commenter. 24:35
Read an excerpt from your ertocia story? 25:20
Here’s the deal, if you’re a writer, you must, by default, be actively engaged in various social media outlets. Blogging, on top of my writing, is a necessity. Twitter is an unfortunate priority. All other platforms are subject to inspection by agents, publishers, and for some reason, influencers.
My energy is consumed more and more by social media. I’m meant to be a writer and side-blogger. I also have a part-time job (lately, not actually part-time) and I also write the occasional freelance article. And then there’s social media, a job in it’s own right. The more I give it, the bigger it gets. No two outlets are the same. Each is as weird and as confusing as the last. Straightup, the stats make no sense to me.
WordPress (blogging): My core community of active writers and poets. My champions. My support system. I write about writing, I also write about whatever occurs to me that I may find interesting. The stats from WordPress are the most consistent and generally make the most sense. When I release a blog, the feedback is predictable. When I write a random blog or an informatic blog (i.e. Inkbox review, The Gym Diaries), I get consistent hits from people who are searching for specific information. It just makes sense. When I write something that touches people, the “likes” role in.
Twitter (followers / numbers): What does Twitter have to do with writing? Fuck if I know. Publishers and agents want to know that writers have cultivated an online market that can be tapped immediately, so the more followers you have the more your work will be taken into consideration – garbage or not. Fucked up, right? I know that of all the “writers” I follow on Twitter very few have active blogs, share material, or produce any work at all. To date, I am followed by 8k people on Twitter. More than 50% identify as writers and I’ve corresponded with a handful of them. Most writers who identify as such on Twitter spend their days crafting carefully worded questions in order to generate an online conversation. I tried that for a bit and got bored. I pretty much stick to posting memes and blogs, sometimes the occasional quote. If I could summarize, Twitter contains my largest following, however, I get the most attention by posting memes and selfies, not blogs or publication endeavors. Go figure. To my Twitter follower’s credit, they at least like and reshare my work, even the risque stuff. I can’t say that to be true for LinkedIn or Facebook, even though LinkedIn generates the most views for my vlogs by far (see below). I appreciate Twitter for that if nothing else.The fear of being judged for “liking” outside-of-the-box content is all but nonexistent on Twitter.
Facebook (family and friends): I don’t count Facebook although that may have to change. I have a private page and a public page. Facebook is incredibly cranky to work with when you don’t pay for the polished version. It’s slow to update and posts will choke off and die in the newsfeed when you use the free version. I’m just not inclined to work with it further at this point. Then again, the potential for far-reaching newsfeeds are real. I have no access to Facebook stats so I can’t even tell if it’s worth cultivating.
YouTube (vlogs only): I can’t wrap my head around it. I don’t pay attention to views or stats at all, not from YouTube, not at this time. Cultivating YouTube subscribers is not a priority.That would mean taking myself seriously as a YouTuber. Right now, my vlogs are meant for my core audience on WordPress and LinkedIn and Twitter. YouTube is STRICTLY a placeholder for my vlogs. To think of YouTube in any other way is intimidating and I would not continue to make vlogs. I’m certain of that. Also, I don’t perceive YouTube as “social media.” YouTube is it’s own monster that defies social media norms and I’m not ready to give it my full attention. I currently DO NOT monetize my videos. Monetizing my vlogs would force me to become a YouTube content creator and I’m just not ready to take that on…yet. I treat YouTube like a storage unit for my videos. That’s the best approach for me at this time.
You know what’s interesting? When people watch my videos on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, etc. those stats don’t reflect in YouTube – another reason I don’t pay attention to YouTube analytics. I make it easy for people to watch my vlogs on all the different platforms and those platforms, except Facebook, do tell me what people pay attention to.
LinkedIn (professional rep): LinkedIn is the weirdest by far. I’ve had a LinkedIn profile for as long as I can remember. I usually neglect it. There are two types of users, those who have a profile because they think they’ll need it and then there are the hardcore users. Lately,I’ve been a lot more active on LinkedIn because my vlogs, strangely, do the best there.My video stats – not my blog stats – blow up on LinkedIn. I can only guess that LinkedIn is…kinda boring…? and my videos about erotica and tarot reading help liven up an otherwise dull day (which would also explain the lack of “likes” despite the view hits, the fear of judgement is real). I’m still proud to post those otherwise risque vlogs. One vlog of mine has racked up over 800 views and my On Writing Erotica vlog is soon to surpass that in half the time. And yet…no online comments. Let’s talk about comments, shall we?
Comments: Y’all is shy (intentionally written). When I actively entered the online world, I anticipated being hit – daily – with online comments: Bashing, criticizing, thoughtful, crazy, pervy, rude, helpful, inquisitive, and generally just sort of ass-holey. But no. I get the occasional “corrections needed” comments about grammar and the so-called accurate origins of any given quote, but that’s about it. People prefer to hit my email. The exception is Twitter, which I don’t take the comments seriously, nor should you. Twitter is the black hole of comments. The few writers who have outreached to me via Twitter DMs, or open comments, were always polite and thoughtful, but that’s extremely infrequent. Mostly, Twitter is full of people pissing in the wind or are looking to hookup. That’s Twitter. But I take my correspondence from WordPress and LinkedIn very seriously.
And that’s my rant. Y’all, I needed that.
Comments are always welcome, email or public posts. Let me know about your social media activities. Successes? Anyone pay for their Facebook pages? What’s your experience?
Did you ever really want something /
So bad you couldn’t say it ‘loud? /
I put my lips up to your ear, darling /
I’m gonna tell it to you now /
“I Wanna Have You” – St. Mojo
*This vlog contains adults themes as they relate to erotica writing.
1. Why erotica? 0:36
2. Have you written erotica before? 4:06
3. Cliches / tropes 4:54
4. Is erotica your version of porn? 8:24
5. What can we expect from your erotica? 10:01
6. “Be specific” / how erotica has helped me understand my sexuality 11:07
7. Your erogenous zones? 18:56
8. Regret 25:25
9. Can I beta read your erotica? 30:12
His skin tasted of salt and smelled warm, like the sun baking on a beach blanket. (p. 150)
Aubrey was the one whom Jenny had been worrying about on that account, ever since she’d threatened to expose Kate after finding out that Kate was sleeping with her husband. (p. 234)
She was always careful to include the Womacks in her big events – they’d come to her Labor Day party with their four kids and Val’s parents – even though they didn’t move in the upper echelons of the town like Jenny and TIm did. (p. 235)
The sound of the windchimes and birdsong filled the airy room, which smelled of exotic woods and incense and was heated to a tropical intensity. (p. 256)
1. Excellent portrait of college life, the stereotypes, the expectations, the pressure. All well represented.
2. Kate and Aubrey were well-written characters, a lot of depth there.
The Not So Good
1. This novel was entirely too long only to learn that, yes indeed, the HUSBAND DID IT.Again, I don’t normally give away major plot points (Book Review Rules) as I feel it’s best that you, the reader, have more reason to explore a title than not. However, in the case of, It’s Always the Husband, I feel obligated to spare you the drudge.
2. The author concentrated heavily on the character’s (Kate, Aubrey, Jenny) pasts. Much of this novel is spent in the trio’s college years, leading up to a pivotal moment that could have been addressed in half the time. The characters were well plotted, the time spent in the past was unnecessary.
3. A third of the trio, Jenny, was captured well in the college years but not so well in the present. Jenny did not come across well as an adult, nevermind a mayor.
4. I expected more psychopathy from Aubrey. She was well set up for it and that interesting character potential ultimately went nowhere.
5. It’s Always the Husband is neither a thriller nor a suspense novel, it’s more like a very long explanation of events.
I take my “no” recommendations seriously. The above quotes caught my attention as being either unnecessary, drawn out, or lazy. The amount of time dedicated to the past set me up early on for low expectations. Everyone had a hand in Kate’s death (saw that coming, the dialogue was far too generous amongst the characters) but ultimately the husband did it. The end.
Feel free to share your opinions. Just because a novel did not work for me does not mean it won’t work for you.
Kate, Aubrey, and Jenny first met as college roommates and soon became inseparable, despite being as different as three women can be. Kate was beautiful, wild, wealthy, and damaged. Aubrey, on financial aid, came from a broken home, and wanted more than anything to distance herself from her past. And Jenny was a striver―brilliant, ambitious, and determined to succeed. As an unlikely friendship formed, the three of them swore they would always be there for each other.
But twenty years later, one of them is standing at the edge of a bridge, and someone is urging her to jump.
How did it come to this?
Kate married the gorgeous party boy, Aubrey married up, and Jenny married the boy next door. But how can these three women love and hate each other? Can feelings this strong lead to murder? When one of them dies under mysterious circumstances, will everyone assume, as is often the case,that it’s always the husband?